As if that wasn't bad enough, she hit me on the head with a frying pan. I should have known she would do something crazy. Miranda was the jealous type, but mistresses aren't supposed to get jealous over a married man's wife. That's one of the first rules in Adultery 101. I know because I took the course. Twice! The playbook is quite predictable. Misunderstood husband finds a girl to listen to his loneliness and dry his tears and hop in the sack with him. The moment the girl hops in the sack she becomes a mistress. Anyway, I thought Miranda had read the book on Adultery. She certainly seemed to know the first part of the playbook, but she must not have read the end. She must not have read the part that says, "A mistresses never get jealous of her lover's wife." She also didn't seem to know the part that says, "The husband will never leave his wife if they have children. He won't leave even if he's in love with you." Miranda skipped over that part. She was sure I would leave my wife and marry her. She even feigned pregnancy, which is the only tactic that has a 25% success rate in getting husbands to leave their wives. Miranda wasn't pregnant, though. Still, I wonder how she got that store bought test kit to prove that she was? Guess I should have paid more attention in college chemistry. So one night when I was 20 minutes late, Miranda decided it had something to do with my wife. She was furious, and when my back was turned, she nearly knocked me out with that frying pan. I wonder what Miranda is doing now? I really did love her. If she had been pregnant, I really would have married her. Well, I probably would have. I might have.
